I’m a sucker for good love songs. You know the ones. They speak to your current relationships; remind you of an ex, either fondly or negatively; or just tap into the mysterious human experience of sharing love for another human being.

The below songs are not good love songs. I “wrote” them to pay tribute to a few inanimate objects that I had within my field of sight at the time. If you choose to listen to them, you’ll hear of my growing fondness for MoonPies, a shameful homage to my neglected pull-up bar, an ode to the most useful tool in my kitchen and, finally, a country song about my blue couch.

I don’t mind if you hate them. As long as these objects (and that MoonPie) know I love them, my mind will remain at peace.


Happy Valentine’s Day, folks.

“MoonPie (A Return to Love)”

“Pull-Up Bar, I Love You”

“Wine Corkscrew”

“Couch Said, ‘Live Your Life'”

The opinions expressed in this column belong solely to the author, not Nooga.com or its employees.