Portrait Of America 2010 Census Road Tour Comes To Chattanooga, Sunday, March 14 Public invited to participate at New Covenant Fellowship Church location WHAT: A regional 2010 Census “Portrait of America” Road Tour stop in Chattanooga, Tenn. The road tour is designed to inform people about the importance of the census and urge them to be included in the Portrait of America that the 2010 Census will create by filling out their census questionnaires when they arrive March 15-17. The tour features a colorfully wrapped Sprinter van with a 12-foot trailer, dubbed “Founders,” allowing an onsite, hands-on and online experience. WHEN: Sunday, March 14, 2010, noon-2 p.m. WHERE: New Covenant Fellowship Church
1326 N. Moore Road, Chattanooga
WhatsUpChattanooga.com Aspiring Artists Contest
The first WhatsUpChattanooga.com Aspiring Artists Contest is open to all Hamilton County students in kindergarten through 3rd grade (K-3). The competition invites students to submit their original art around the theme, "What I love about Chattanooga." A panel of volunteer judges from Chattanooga’s arts community will choose a grand-prize winner and ten runners-up based on composition, aesthetics, and theme – which should reflect something about Chattanooga that represents what the young artist loves about Chattanooga, from its scenic beauty to its history. The grand-prize winner and ten runners-up will be announced on April 4 on WhatsUpChattanooga.com where their work will be displayed. Also, the top 50 entries will be on display at the Hunter Museum of American Art, Student Gallery during the month of April. The grand-prize winner and 25 friends will win a FREE PIZZA PARTY from Pump It Up of Chattanooga. Deadline for submission is March 21. Entries may be dropped off at the Hunter Museum of American Art or Creative Discovery Museum gift shops, or at Pump It Up of Chattanooga. The WhatsUpChattanooga.com ‘Aspiring Artists Contest’ is sponsored by Pump It Up of Chattanooga, Hunter Museum for American Art, Creative Discovery Museum, Tenn
Visual Arts Continue to Drive Ensemble Theatre’s Season Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga
continues their 2010 season with two productions exploring the
lives of two visual artists. On the Mainstage, Camille Claudel
is the protagonist for Delirium of InterpretationS by Fiona Templeton.
Our Youth and Family offering is THIS IS NOT A PIPE DREAM by
Barry Kornhauser, featuring the life and works of surrealist
Rene Magritte. The play features ETC veterans Christy Gallo, Garry Lee Posey and Emma Wiseman along with newcomers Wes Rehberg, Luke Lagraff, and Dawn Hickey.Surrealist painter Rene Magritte interpreted his imagination of the world he saw in a very whimsical and humorous way. “Kornhauser’s play maximizes that whimsy by crafting a play that draws in elements of vaudeville, theatre magic and tons of energy, mentions Producing partner Christy Gallo. Six zanies, costumed like Magritte’s anonymous man, bring the artist’s paintings to life while simultaneously tickling your funny bone. This short play is perfect for the entire family. Production is directed by Founding Producing Partner Garry Lee Posey and features ETC ensemble members Ryan Laskowski, Timothy James, Emma Wiseman, Mark Edward Murray, Jinny Marie Jagoditsch and Taylor Williams. Performances for Delirium of Interpretations will run Fridays (March 19 and 26) at 7:30pm and Sundays (March 21 and 28)at 3:00pm and 7:30pm, complimented by Pipe Dream performances March 13, 20 and 27 at 11:00 am and 1:00 pm. All performances will be held at the St. Andrews Center Theatre, 1918 Union Avenue in Highland Park. Tickets are $6 - $10. For more information, contact ETC at ensemble.theatre.chattanooga@gmail.com or by calling 423-987-5141. Tickets can be purchased online at www.ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com.
 New Animal Adventures
Added FREE with Aquarium Admission
Scenic City
Women’s Network Luncheon Mimi is fond of saying she limped to the cross, weighed down with bags full of life’s mess, and became God’s mess redeemed for His good pleasure! After sexual abuse at an early age, Mimi tried to fix her own problems, ending up lost in a sea of drugs, alcohol, sexual perversion and mental illness, landing her in jail five times. She cried out, “Lord Jesus, I need help!” His answer was redemption and healing and a new life and purpose. Mimi moved to Chattanooga in 2004 as a missionary in prison ministry. She is now founder and president of Love Your Neighbor Ministries, Inc., as well as a writer, mentor, and speaker. She also chairs the mentoring and family committee of the Tennessee Reentry Collaborative in Hamilton County. It is the mission of Love Your Neighbor to encourage and assist women imprisoned by life choices of rebellious sin to be reconciled to God through Christ, growing into God’s Word by His Spirit into living epistles for his glory. Mimi and Love Your Neighbor Ministries flesh out the gospel through Weekly Bible studies, aftercare groups, and taking the gospel to women in Chattanooga’s crack neighborhoods. Mimi will encourage us to take the gospel into our worlds. Where: First Presbyterian Church, 554
McCallie Avenue, Parking across Douglas Street Behind Christian
Science Church
History Center and Bessie Smith Cultural Center Team up for Big Nine Program The Chattanooga History Center and the Bessie Smith Cultural Center will present The Big Nine’s Cookin’ on Tuesday, March 30th. The History Center will reprise its Nicely Tour, The Big Nine, at 6:00pm, with sociologist, blues musician, and Chattanooga native, Dr. Clark White, serving as tour guide. At the conclusion of the walking tour, participants will go in Bessie Smith Cultural Center, where they will be treated to a fried chicken dinner (from Champy’s), served to the sounds of some great old blues records. Movies celebrating the blues and blues culture will also be shown and there will be a cash bar. Registered participants will meet on the street sidewalk in front of the Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 Martin Luther King Blvd. The fee is $15 per person. Registration is complete with payment of the fee, and the deadline is Friday, March 26. Call 423-265-3247, extension 10, or 423-266-8658 to register. Prior to 1982, the area covered in the tour segment of this program was anchored by what was then officially named Ninth Street, and known colloquially to local residents as “The Big Nine.” For many years, it was the center of African American life in Chattanooga. Its businesses included the Martin Hotel (which housed many famous African American performers, such as Ella Fitzgerald, Lena Horne and Nat King Cole), Lowery Five & Dime, the L&G Diner, and many others. In 1982, the street was widened to handle traffic congestion, and the name changed to Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd. The wider street became a major thoroughfare, destroying the neighborhood ambience of the area.
Celebrate Easter in the Park For the 5th year in a row Oakwood Baptist
Church presents “Easter in the Park” – a special
community wide Easter service, Sunday
April 4th at 9:30 a.m. near the Wilder Tower inside Chickamauga
Park. Oakwood Baptist Church is one church that worships in three locations: Oakwood Street in Chickamauga, GA, Gateway Mall in Fort Oglethorpe, GA and on Germantown Road in East Ridge, TN. Oakwood has a plan in place to continue the Easter celebration in case of inclement weather. For more information contact Oakwood Baptist Church at 706-375-5760 or visit www.oakwoodbc.org.
100 Year Anniversary of the Humane Educational Society The 100 Year Anniversary of the Humane Educational Society is coming up this April, and HES has two events planned. The information is as follows: Celebrate 100 Year Anniversary Party: Friday, April 9th. Be a party animal! Join Humane Educational Society, MC Jed Mescon and friends for cocktails, appetizers, live dinner piano, awards and lots of fun! After Dinner Entertainment: STANDING ROOM ONLY, One of Chattanooga's hottest bands, will be there to get the after party hopping! Event begins at 5:30 p.m. at the Loose Cannon Gallery, 1800 Rossville Avenue. Pricing: $75 each; $100 couple; $400 table of 8. Space is Limited! So, please make reservations today. Call 423.624-5302 x241. Family Day Celebration: Saturday, April 10th. 100 Year Anniversary Grand Re-Opening Party at the Humane Educational Society, Starts at Noon. Witness Grand-Opening of new children’s educational center, "Weezie’s Way®, the path to kindness." Crafts, tours, food, cake, dog training demo, “Happy Tails” slideshow, volunteer activity demos, and lots more fun for all! See our free-roaming cat rooms and cageless dog environments. Come see our progress! We're not the pound anymore! Come to 212 N. Highland Park Ave., Chattanooga, TN. Call 423.624-5302 x228 for more info.
4 Bridges
Arts Festival Celebrates 10-Year Anniversary with Fine Wines
aAnd Savory Foods
Day Out
With Thomas™: The Celebration Tour 2010 Pulling Into The
Tennessee Valley Railroad
Event Information
Tennessee State Harley Owners Group Rally 2010 The Historical Chattanooga Choo Choo
Hotel will host the Annual Tennessee State H.O.G. Rally from
June 2-5, 2010. The rally will be jam-packed with live
music, parades, skill-riding events and more.
Allied Arts Special Events Rock Point Books will host a Family Saturday
Storytime on Saturday, March 13 at 11:00 a.m. with the reading
of Curly, Randy and the Poultry Show by Lynn Gobler Pomeroy.
Visit www.rockpointbooks.com for more information.
By Dalton Roberts BEAUTIFULLY CRIPPLED THINGS Sunday, March 7, 2010 Roger Alan Wade wrote me 2-19-94 saying, “Some records are produced just perfect and the songs written right out of the rule book. but it ain’t crippled, man, it ain’t lumber with the bark still on it. I like to see things you can just taste, things just a little bit crippled. Let’s get a jug of wine and hitchhike to Mississippi and sleep in the Old Zion churchyard by Robert Johnson’s grave, just off the Dixie Highway. He might have missed a few notes and got a little out of time but that’s what makes it last. It’s not like those generic things, those elevator and dentist office things. I don’t buy those records. I don’t know who buys them. It must be the same people who collect state spoons and thimbles and things.” You don’t have to be a great songwriter like Roger to understand what he is saying. Just think of your favorite singers and you will realize some of them have some rough edges. Like Johnny Cash. He was not smooth. He was soulful. Like Ernest Tubb. His voice would often go flat but it was still Ernest Tubb and you could identify his voice a mile away. Some of his songs were absolute masterpieces, like “Waltz Across Texas.” Willie Nelson. When he first came to Nashville I went with a fellow songwriter to hear him in a plain old honkytonk. It was so honkytonkish it was a basement place under a pawn shop! As we left my fellow writer said, “That poor guy cannot keep time.” I said, “Whether or not he can keep time, if he wrote those songs he will at least be a great songwriter.” Willie does not sing in time. He loves to sing just before the beat or just after but everyone has gotten so used to him that it doesn’t matter. I dreamed he visited me last night and woke up so excited I couldn’t go back to sleep. When a man can do that to you, it doesn’t matter if he ever hits the beat. Even Roger Alan beats a guitar until it cries for mercy. When I first heard him I thought, “I wish he would just smoothly stroke his guitar.” Then I played lead for him a while and came to love the energy and power in his driving rhythm. Is anything more important to a musician than energy and power? Absolutely not. This “crippled thing” Roger talks about also shows up in people other than musicians. Like Hubert Burnum, a semi-literate Baptist preacher who slaughtered the King’s English. I would read his text to him over and over until he thought he had it memorized and still, he would get it a little twisted. Like when he said Paul was struck down on the road to Nebraska and another night when he said, “Woe to him who closeth off his bowels of compression on his neighbor.” I would drive 200 miles tonight to hear him preach even if Billy Graham was holding a crusade in my home city. I have nothing against Billy’s preaching but I prefer the rough-as-a-cob originality of Brother Hubert. You see, Brother Hubert spoke without notes from the bottom of his heart. It was like water from a fresh spring. As Roger said, It was a beautifully crippled thing.
TAKE IT EEEEZEE by J. Michael Leonard Wednesday, March 10, 2010 I went out and bought me a brand new Prius this morning, 25 grand, hybrid electric, 51 highway, "Environmental Green" paint job. Sue-weet ride. Little sissified but I don't mind, I'm secure in my manhood. Anyway, on the way back, I stopped at Popeye's Chicken to celebrate with some livers and a big Coke, when this black guy approached to tell me how much he liked my new Prius. I told him I'd just driven it off the lot. He asked how much I'd take for it. I told him, "Hold on, soul brother, I just plopped down 25 large for that bad boy. I don't think I want to sell it." He then took a wadded-up handkerchief from his pocket, carefully unfolded it and removed a bean. He said, "See this bean?" I said, "Yeah, I see that bean." He said, "This is a magic bean, like the kind Jack had in that story about the big beanstalk. I'll swap you three of these magic beans for your car." I told him, "Sh'yeah, right. You must think I'm some kinda rube, I'd swap a brand-new, politically correct, Obama-sanctioned, green-colored Prius for three beans. Uh-uh, homey, I wasn't born yesterday ... you want this car it'll cost you six beans." He balked but eventually I wore him down, signed over the title, got my six magic beans right in my pocket. Anyway, if anybody reading this is going to be out near Popeye's Chicken anytime soon, I could use a ride home. And no, I don't feel bad taking advantage of the guy. Hey, I can't help it if he's too stupid to realize he could probably get him a dozen Priuses with all them magic beans he had in that dirty hanky. Two dozen. And a Cadillac, too. Anyway, I need a ride home now so if you're gonna be near Popeye's, swing by and pick me up, how bout it. I can't wait to get home, put these babies in some soil. I understand they pretty much grow overnight. Meantime, while I'm waiting ... Sandra Bullock won a best actress Oscar Award for her performance in Blind Side, and a worst actress Razzie Award for her performance in All About Steve. No performer has ever won a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year. To honor that achievement, she's being awarded a Pulitzer Prize, as well. It's like the International Star Registry, where you can have a star named after you. Anybody with a credit card can have a star named after them. See that star? That's Fred. That one over there is Grady and there's Lakisha. You know, naming the universe after ourselves. Space aliens land on Earth one day, we ask them “What star are you they from?” They say, “We are from star GJ 758 B.” We go, “GJ 758 B? Where the heck is that?” Check the Star Registry, “Oh, you mean you’re from Wayne.” Uh ... I was going to make a point but now I've forgotten what it was ... Oh yeah, the Pulitzer Prize. The way things are going it won’t be long, anybody that wants one will be able to buy a Pulitzer Prize online, so yes, I say give Sandra Bullock a Pulitzer Prize. Speaking of awards, in Chicago this week, Obama's former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, put on his own awards ceremony called "Living Legends," a hundred bucks a ticket, where he honored himself, Imam Louis Farrakhan and (for comic relief) Father Michael Pfleger. “Living legends.” That's gold. I don’t care who you are, that’s gold. Go on and give Wright a Pulitzer, too, while you're at it. Wright, Farrakhan and Pfleger ... they oughta do a remake of On the Town with those three guys. But that movie, Avatar? So now we know where the Blue Man Group came from, huh? Greece is bankrupt and they want the European Union to bail em out. That kinda stuck in Germany's caw, as they've already given Greece 50 billion euros since adopting the currency. Rather than cough up more dough, Germany told Greece that instead of hitting other people up for money, they should “get up earlier and work harder.” Back in the 70s, I heard civil rights activist Julian Bond say the exact same thing to the black youth. Told them, "You won't ever get anywhere in life sleeping til ten." Now here's Germany telling Greece the same thing. Good advice is good advice, huh? But that ties in to something else I saw on the ‘Net this week. Guy was quoting his mother-in-law, an elderly, hard-scrabble type who said, "You can't help the poor, they have to learn to help themselves. Pity is a fool's best friend." Pity is a fool's best friend. That, too, is gold. That should be written on our money. What is that old saying? Give a man a fish, you feed him for one meal ... teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Cause in that sense, pity is definitely a fool's game. Almost $150,000 in federal stimulus dollars was awarded to the Wake Forest University Medical School to test the effects of cocaine on monkeys. That may sound like a waste of money, but monkey cocaine addiction in North Carolina is reaching ... well, not epic proportions, but some of those monkeys got a problem. I don’t mind forking over a few tax dollars to help get em sober. Speaking of tax dollars, mighty Barack has smoothed things over somewhat with Nevada for remarks he made that have hurt tourism there. He and Las Vegas had a beer in the Rose Garden and then Barack gave em one billion, five hundred million dollars. You can’t beat the house, Barack. Wait a minute, what’s that I see? ... why, it’s a girl, my lord, in a flat bed Ford slowing down to take a look at me. I do believe my ride is here. Hopefully, next time I see you I’ll have some good news about my magic beans. (Out of My Mind is © J. Michael Leonard, a freelance writer/illustrator whose work has appeared in Playboy, National Lampoon, Argosy, Berkeley Barb, comic books, childrens books and numerous other publications. Email: jmichael@hometowncleveland.com. His political/humor column, "Out Of My Mind," has published weekly since 1996. It is archived at: http://hometowncleveland.com
HELPING OTHERS by Bradley County Sheriff Tim Gobble Saturday, March 6, 2010 According to state law, police officers
are not obligated to function in a law enforcement capacity when
they are off duty. They are authorized to do so, if the situation
calls for it, but they are not required to.
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Hey Kids! Grab your crayons, pens, pencils, and
paint! Show us what you love about Chattanooga and you could
win a Free Pizza Party at Pump it Up of Chattanooga!
Thomas
the Tank Engine™ to visit TENNESSEE VALLEY RAILROAD on APRIL
23, 24, 25 and MAY 1 & 2
My Personal Journal
Bradley One In Service
